Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bring me that man meat
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
