Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Holy shit dude........stairs
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
