my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
