I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
