i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
