Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
