I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
