I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
