i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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