Whatcha textin bout Willis?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
