If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
