Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
