It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
