He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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