so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
