one might say we're banned from that church
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
