why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
