i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
