Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
