Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
