Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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