p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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