Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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