best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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