She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
