Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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