just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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