My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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