New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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