Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
