Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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