can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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