she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
