i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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