Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
