Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
