that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
