in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
