at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
we're so committed to being not committed
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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