I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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