do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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