Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i think my cat just said my name.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
