ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
