sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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