Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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