You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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