dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
