I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
