He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
