Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
