All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
