Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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